This week I’ve been thinking about group chats, why you ask? Well, because I spend wayyyy too much of my life on them not to think about group chats. But first, some background…
It all started about two years ago…
[Cue dreamy wiggly music]
I was added entirely without warning to a group chat full of strangers who proceeded to verbally abuse me at the behest of someone who I looked upon not only as a friend, but as family. Someone who was in my mind almost above reproach because I loved them like I loved my own self. Unfortunately for me, family meant very little to them. The result, I spent literally months building up to the point when I could have my phone on all day without having sudden bouts of anxiety, where I could receive a message without being on the verge of a panic attack. I got there. Eventually. It took me a long while, and even now I’m not 100% when it comes to social media (group chats in particular), so how is it I spend a solid 70% of my time on one?
But I manage it. I think they’ve become such an ingrained part of how we communicate, with their own entirely separate rules of etiquette and socialisation, that to disassociate myself would leave me entirely out in the cold. That’s not to say they always go to plan though. This week I’ve been thinking about group chats, because they’ve gone tits up.
Incident one happened mid week when my friend (mostly friend? kinda friend?) of about seven years accused another one of our friends of taking drugs. In town. With maybe-friends boyfriend. What??? And worse yet she did it on the group chat???? Not a direct message????? Pretty sure it was for attention but hey, what do I know? The result was this particularly dramatic series of messages between me and another member of the group chat about events on the group chat:
I’m still flabbergasted about this! What on earth led this person to openly accuse someone we both know not just of taking drugs, but of doing drugs with her own boyfriend? What would have led her to that situation? And worse yet, after she’d done this, she kept telling the girl she’d accused to “Chill”. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? You can’t cause an argument and then try to end it, that’s not how it works!
Incident number one is a perfect example of how things can go from 0-100 really quickly on group chats, and more importantly of how people can use them to show others up or gain attention they want. Everyone likes a bit of attention here and there, but group chats allow a certain level of immediate gratification, you can ask for attention and support and receive without delay, most of the time thats pretty good, sometimes it goes a bit wonky. Now I’m as bad as anyone else when it comes to this (you think I write a personal blog just for the joy of writing? Getting attention has to come in there somewhere right?) but I think I’m in a position to say that this individual was doing nothing but seeking attention, and furthermore seeking to stain the name of one of my closest friends. Incident number one is a brilliant example of the issues I have with group chats.
Ok, so after all that stress incident number two is actually a lot funnier and lighter. Long story short I accidentally added one of my Uni mates to a group chat of all my girl friends planning a coffee morning and bitching about maybe-friend. This poor bloke found himself in the somewhat turbulent waters of all female friendship. Whoops?
Luckily he’s a pretty chill dude and the whole incident was as funny as it was embarrassing. In other news, I shouldn’t be allowed to use social media, because I’m a mess.
What are your thoughts on group chats?
Let me know